So, "Little Man" is quite attached to me. He cries when I put him down, leave the room, or don't give him what he wants. He cries a lot. A mom commented to me yesterday that he loves me a lot. It doesn't FEEL like love. It feels more like he doesn't even like me because all I hear is crying. He is able to play in situations when he knows I am no longer an option. He plays with a sitter, in the nursery at church, or at the Y's childcare. He will play with me as long as he's touching me. I feel like his security blanket in human form. Did you see how disgusting Linus' blanket is in Peanuts?
In his one year old head, love equals security, I suppose. I don't know what he's seen or what triggered this level of clingy-ness. We bought special sized gates to fit in our larger hallways so that he won't get hurt under toe in the kitchen or swallow small toys or destroy homeschool books in that area. He does not like our new boundaries. He stands at his perceived jail bars and screams. Although they keep him safe, he would rather have me.
I wish I could help him understand that he is safe and loved, minus the screaming. I know it is a privilege to have a little person's love and to care for them, but it doesn't FEEL that way right now.
Here he is eating cake from his birthday party we had for him not too long ago. We were the only family that celebrated his life this year with him. That was an honor. Even though the crying is hard, I hope it will decrease as he realizes that he is safe and loved.
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