Can you really handle this?

Our days are long lately.  "Little Man" is crying a lot and wants me to hold him all the time.  Although I think its great that he likes me, I cannot do everything while holding him.  He is not a small child either.  So, between separation anxiety and teething, the crying seems to control my day.  I hesitate in posting this but if I share how God is growing us then just maybe He will work in someone else's life through this too.  Sometimes its hard.  "Little Man" seems to be having an emotional reaction to circumstances in his little life and clinging to me.  He also has quite a lot of teeth coming in at once.  The combo has made my days long and hard.  It is conveniently at the "back to school" season.  I knew that you never know what child will enter your family.  We prayed for God's sovereignty is bringing us children, and He brought us "Little Man". 
God lead us to do this but honestly we aren't the ones with the strength, patience, love, parenting ability that I would love to be.  It's amazing to me that we are even doing this.  I am not a perfect parent.  There are plenty of things that I wish I did better.  I am still selfish.  I am disappointed when nap time is cut short, not because I am worried about my kids getting enough sleep (for the most part), but for how it messes up my list of things that I need to get done.  When my kids are being unkind to each other it takes me a moment to focus on their heart issue of being selfish rather than the inconvenience their selfishness has caused me (my selfishness).
Adding another child in the mix has forced me to face my own inadequacies.  I can not really handle all this.  I know that God has lead us here and its hard.  God changing me is never easy, or I wouldn't change.  Romans 5:2-5 "Through him (Jesus) we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in with we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.  More that that we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
I have been amazed that with a perspective that whatever suffering I may encounter is for my benefit, namely producing endurance, character, and hope in me.  Suffering is God's sculpting tool on my heart through the Holy Spirit.  Sometimes Steve and I will jokingly ask, "Do we really need this much sanctification?".  It causes us to rely on God for all the strength, patience, love that we need in this journey because we can recognize that we can not handle this.  It is God at work in us, and I am grateful.
So, I need to head back to the "crying trenches"  with a clingy baby, but it is with a renewed heart of reliance on God and resolve to glorify Him in this.  I am grateful that He does not leave me to my selfishness, but this means that my house is a mess and my agenda is out the window.