Since Steve and I started dating, I have felt ready before him. I was the one that professed my undying love for him first thus thrusting us into a relationship instead of just a friendship. No wonder he got freaked out. I was ready to talk about marriage long before him, and kept my nails nicely manicured... just in case. When we were married, I quickly tried to overturn the "five year plan" baby plan and suddenly just wanted to be a mom. After each baby, I remember feeling "ready" for the next one pretty much when I stopped nursing one. So, when Steve was the one that led our family into foster care, I was happily surprised. It was something I always wanted to do, but so was going to Africa and adopting babies from all over the world. It was something that I had surrendered to God and trusted Him with.
When we said "Good-bye" to Little Man, I was exhausted and ready to wait. Steve was even more so. After two wonderful respite opportunities with a precious little guy, I am feeling a little more ready. Steve and I had a chance to talk about that a few days ago and he is not feeling ready.
So, when are we really ready?
I am convinced that God will move through Steve for this. I trust God with this. I am not anxious or forcefully trying to push my desires. I know that God will lead us together. I trust Him. He knows what we need and what is best for all of us.
I may need to be reminded of this when we are offered a tiny baby and Steve says, "Not yet."
I Cor 4:15 "For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God."
I know exactly what you mean about letting your husband lead. I tend to push or pull pretty hard, and then wonder if I was too forceful. And I love it when I realize God is leading through my husband, and I can relax and wait.
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