I took Little Man to the Dr on Monday for a regular check up. I expressed some concerns with his behavior. I mentioned that he was drug exposed and the Dr's whole demeanor changed. She asked me if people in our home had an anger problem, or if my husband and I fight in front of him. When I shared that he knew some signs to help him communicate, she asked, "Who taught him those?"
It didn't dawn on my until the next day that although we have been over his history previously, she probably forgot that he was a foster child and thought I had exposed him to drugs pre-natally.
One of the things they talk about in foster parent training is that you need to be prepared for people to judge you for the biological parents' baggage.
As far has how Little Man is doing...... it is day to day. He screams and cries a lot still. He has been sick a lot. He is a pretty angry little guy. He is tantruming and hitting frequently. He qualified to receive some services in our home to help us respond to his anger in a way that will help him. Somedays are exhausting. What truly amazes me is my biological kids' response to him. They continue to love him throughout. They continue to pray that we adopt him. When Steve and aren't sure about doing one more day with screaming they steadily and willingly love him. It is God's Grace displayed in my kids. It is amazing as a parent. One of the things that Steve and I were concerned about with being a foster family was the effect it would have on our biological children. So far the effect has been tremendous and overwhelmingly a benefit. It has softened their hearts to orphans and to God. It has taught them to love hard people. It has taught them that being a family is people who are committed to love eachother even when it is not easy. God's work and grace in their hearts is amazing to me.
I Cor 4:15 "For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God."
I miss you guys. I cherish the 3 months I spent time with you. I pray that you will find the answers you are looking for. I dealt with my oldest daughter having anger issues. she would hurt her self out of frustration. we worked out system to hug it out. I told her to hug all her anger and frustration out on me. A big long hard squeeze till her muscles are exhausted. the endorphins kick in and there is a peace.
ReplyDeleteWow Sarah. You guys are amazing. I thank God for families like yours to help innocents like little man through life. My heart aches when you talk about his anger issues, for such a young soul to be carrying that burden. I remember my babies at that age and they're laughter and smiles, so carefree. As it should be.J
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